Choosing The People You Want By Your Side

I have no idea how this is such an easy task for men to complete, but Josh literally has no issue with choosing his future groomsmen. I, on the other hand, had a very difficult time choosing my bridesmaids because girlfriends are like gangs and when in a gang you get close to a lot of different people and then they get territorial over you and it becomes no fun anymore to have to choose some of them to be your bridesmaids. We decided on five maybe six in the future, for our bridal party, this was mainly Josh's choice because he has a very tight knit group of friends, whereas I have a few super close friends and a lot of good friends.

I wanted my bridal party to be made up of people who have been important to me at different stages in my life but that I haven't really lost touch with. Obviously my sister was the easiest pick, it would be pretty hard to find anyone who has cared about me longer than her, but the next easiest choice was my best friend Courtney who i've been best friends with since we toddlers. We've been planning our weddings, kids names, and dream homes since we were little girls and it wouldn't be my perfect wedding without her standing beside me. I had thought about adding more people from home, but truth be told, my life has changed drastically since I've lived at home, most of them have either never met Josh or dont know our life together very well so it just didn't make sense to me.

The Mount on the other hand was the birthplace of our relationship and I have met some of the people who I REALLY grew up with at the Mount. During my first two years at the mount Jenny, Sarah and I were completely inseparable, which was not always beneficial to our grades or the health of our liver, In my third year when we stopped living in the same building we weren't quite as inseparable but they were still the two people that I confided in, that I got silly drunk with and that I needed in my life to keep me sane. Britt and I didn't become overly close until our third year of university. I like to call Britt my easy friend (not that way, mind out of the gutter). She has this totally laid back and easy going personality, she is so fun to be around, always available for a talk or a beer and I am always happy and calm when I am around her!

I chose these girls because they are the friends that I never want to lose touch with, that I can trust with anything and everything and that will put my best interest first. What I've noticed over the past month is that the three or four people that deserve to be in my wedding party just as much as the above mentioned girls have been so unbelievably supportive towards me because I think that they know that it was a difficult decision for me and that I still want them to be a part of the planning and everything like that; whereas, there is another small group of girls who probably will not understand or be okay with the fact that they are not on this list and ironically enough they aren't people that I think deserve to stand for me.


I ALSO OBVIOUSLY CHOSE THEM BASED ON THEIR ATTRACTIVENESS AS YOU CAN SEE BELOW:

So future brides, here is my best advice on how to choose these important people: Choose people who actually care about you, who you dont want to lose touch with ever, who you think will put your opinion above their own when it comes to your day, who will wear a smile on their face no matter what dress you put them in and who will help you organize your special day with excitement. I also tried to focus on where people would be in a couple of years. If I wasn't going to see someone for two years, chances are we might grow a bit apart, that's life, so distance and the likely effort I would put into seeing them factored into my decision making.

Church or No Church?

This has been the latest debate in the planning process; do we want to get married in a church or not? Just for some background, because this may not be a debate for everyone, Josh and I were both raised catholics and have since become bad catholics in the sense that we dont go to church anymore, but it is still a part of who we both are. We are debating between a church wedding (not a full mass, fret not), an outdoor wedding or some sort of alternative to both. This weekend while we were in Cape Breton we decided to weigh our options more seriously. Here were our pros and cons for all three options:

Church: Pros: 1. We love the history and architecture of a church
                       2. Chelsea has always dreamt of the double doors opening and walking down the aisle
                           with her dad
                       3. It would please our grandmothers
                       4. You dont have to worry about rain
             Cons: 1. Marriage counselling (If you get married in the Catholic Church you are required to do
                           three days of marriage counselling.
                       2. We didn't want a priest who preached a significant amount to our wedding goers
                       3. I want my own music, not churchy music
                       4. There are several catholic churches that wont allow your dad to walk you down the
                           aisle

Outdoor: Pros: 1. Beautiful Scenery
                        2. Short Ceremony
                        3. Our own music
               Cons: 1. Weather can ruin everything
                         2. Backup plans are usually ugly
                         3. Bugs, Heat and HUGE COST in some cases

Alternative: Pros: 1. All the benefits of an outdoor wedding without having to worry about the weather
                   Cons: 1. Huge Cost, No options available in Cape Breton

So obviously the alternatives were out. As for outdoor weddings, I am convinced it will rain on my wedding and I am kind of telling myself it will so that, if it does, I wont be disappointed. I dont think I could deal with the stress of waiting for two years to find out if I get to married where I planned to get married and like I wrote, I always find that the back up plans for outdoor weddings are ugly and that's because no one wants to put that much effort into a backup plan. I always dreamed of getting married on the lawn of the Inverary Inn in Baddeck, that dream was shot down when they sent me their wedding package "deals" WAY out of our budget.

With all of that said, I was still very hesitant about getting married in a church because of the marriage counselling, the priest and the rules. I was able to talk to a lot of people this weekend who got married in the catholic churches of Cape Breton and through that I learned a few things about a couple of churches. The church I wanted to get married in was the big one in Bras D'or, that idea was quickly shut down when I learned that the priest wouldn't let my dad walk me down the aisle. The last thing I want is an anal priest. Someone suggested the big grey church in North Sydney apparently they have a new young and very nice priest. The good thing about this priest is that Josh's father golfs with the retired priest from that church who is apparently hilarious and easy going. So now our goal is to get married in that church with the funny old priest and just suck it up and get through the marriage counselling.

Next stop Reception Venue!

 St. Joseph's